God - do you know how long it took to get this working again? I update my site maybe, like, once every two years. I want to try changing that, but that’s kind of wishful thinking for now. I spent at least an hour trying to sift through gems and dependencies only to finally check Jekyll’s github and see that I needed to update the version of Jekyll listed in the gemfile. I’m not very good at this. That’s the end of this little rant. Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
I have a lot of thoughts that I wish I would put on here. But that requires getting up and writing them down. But it can’t really be that hard, right? I don’t know why I never seem to have the willpower to do that. Part of me thinks that it’s because I know that dealing with all the updating would be a nightmare - and it is - but I guess that it would be better to deal with it as it comes instead of letting it pile up and kill me all at once. Anyways.
I’ve been thinking about how bleak it is that the average person is ultimately just a nobody. The average person is… well, average. Shocker. Some could argue that’s it’s systemic in nature, that the powers that be designed society in such a way that it becomes hard to stand out or whatever. And that’s definitely true about some stuff: Oh, the horrors of capital, the industrial military complex, nationalism, et cetera, et cetera. But that isn’t what I’m talking about. By definition, the average person can’t stand out, because if they did, then they wouldn’t be average. I guess that “nobody” is too harsh of a word. But, you know, you get what I mean. Not everybody can be exceptional.
Can you believe what got me spiraling into this thought? A Minecraft video. A fucking Minecraft video. It was a three minute video of the members showing off their technical server. They had world record farms and stuff. It’s not like, a Nobel Peace Prize, and a lot of people would say that those guys are just wasting their time. But now I know that those people exist. Thousands of people know that they exist. That’s so much more than what the average person can say. That’s so much more than what I can say.
I’m being too cynical. I know that. The average person isn’t really a “nobody.” I loathe the rising philosophy that most people are NPCs. Everybody has their own rich, colourful, internal world, and they mean so much to everybody else that they know. They’re thinking, living, breathing, people. And whether or not I know them, or acknowledge them, they exist. I think calling the average person a “nobody” is definitely a projection of how hollow my life feels most of the time.
I want to write more, but there isn’t much else for me to say here. Well, there probably is, but I guess I haven’t thought that far.